SO me and some bro's were booze cruisin with these slam pieces, one of them was an absolute dime. So after gettin pretty hayed, i convinced her to go in the very back seat of my bro's suburban. We had a quick make out session, then i finger banged her, and next thing you know i was gettin some sloppy domie. The three bro's in the front seats realized something was goin on but they kept their mouths shut. The other broads were clueless. The dime swallowed, we dropped her off, then kept cruising. As we were cruisin more, i got another broad to go in the back with me and got dome from her too. What a night.
So today I go to this slampiece's house. I've been hooking up with this whole summer so she usually leaves the door open for me. When I get there, its business as usual, and I walk in, but this time I see her bent over the table getting railed out by some other bro. Instead of flipping out, I snuck into the kitchen to grab a Smirnoff Ice. Then I proceeded to sneak back into the livingroom to ice the bro. He dropped down to a knee where he downed the ice like a true champ. Smut got pissed and kicked us both out.
Sup bros. I want to tell you a story about my bro, who is notorious for blacking out and doing stupid shit, and our frat, who got fed up with getting in trouble for his antics. This past semester, my brothers were so mad at him, that each night they assigned one of the pledges to make sure he was under control. Basically a DD for his life. A few days ago, this pledge goes out with my bro and the entire night is stopping him from doing stupid shit while he is drunk. Eventually, the bro gets tired and goes back to the house, where the pledge leaves him passed out in his bed. The next morning, my bro is gone and his cellphone is off. I got a call from him later that afternoon. Apparently, in his blacked out state, he called a cab to the airport, hopped on a plane and woke up in the middle of a flight to Denver. I am not sure how he got through security, but that is a night he will never forget... or even remember.
"So my bro went out in LA last night and got so drunk that he was kicked out of the first place we went to. We crossed the street to go to another bar, but my bro could barely walk and fell down in the street. As he was laying there, the cops rolled through and told him to get up and go home. Unfortunately, he couldn't get up so they helped him up and over to a bench. He proceeded to vomit on the cops shoes, so they arrested him. Since today is Sunday, and the courthouse isn't open, he has to spend the day in jail. Sorry bro."
This is a pretty long story posted by a true bro.
"One of my bros decided to come chill for his Christmas exodus and on New Year's Eve, about 6 other bros and I load up in my Mazda 6 to hit up some parties. The first one we stopped at was nothing but high schoolers as we were mislead by a wanna-be-bro. We left that fool at the party, but chilled for about 15 minutes until I some dime piece started chatting me up.
Me: What grade are you in?
Slam piece: Freshmen.
Me: In college? (wishful thinking bro)
Slam piece: Umm, no.
Me: Bros, we gotta go!
We grabbed everybody, 'cept that fool who led us here, and literally every beer they had and headed towards the next party. On our way, we had to stop so I could take a piss. We pulled over next to this car in a gas station, I got out in front of their car and started pissing in front of them. They honked, so I flipped them off."
"We got to the next party and it was banging. They were feeding us shots, and as the night progressed a myriad of crazy things happened. One bro fucked some girl then started walking around naked, another bro chatted up a dime piece right when we got there and wasn't seen again until the next morning, another bro got denied by some chick (poor bro) and he fell asleep in the upstairs hallway. Here is what happened to me: I got domed up in the middle of the living room by some slam piece while the party was in full swing. Next, I took every blanket and pillow from every room to sleep with and to top it off I also jacked a mattress. Finally, I blacked out on it in the hallway. When I woke up, I stole their entire carton of orange juice, rounded up the bros and went to breakfast.
Here's the cherry on top: the bro that was initially denied, fingerblasted some slam piece. Shit you not, his fingers turned green. Nasty.
That's how you start a new year... bro style."
Today I was "Skyping" with this slampiece. She thought she was really good at teasing me cause I was pretty turned on. Little did she know her sister was under my desk. #brostory
My bro just got into Harvard Med School. To celebrate we took him out, got him wasted, and he blacked out. When he woke up he was next to some random slampiece. He didn't use a condom. It's a good thing that he is going to be a doctor, cause now he can find a cure for HIV.
Today, I just got back from my final and my girl was waiting for me on my bed naked. She gave me a blowie and then opened my mini fridge to reveal a pre-made sandwich. Best start to summer vacation ever. #brostory
So my friend was in Thailand and got picked up by these two Thai chicks. They brought him back to their place after a few drinks and one of them started making out with him. He had just landed a few hours before and just wanted to get to his hostal, so he tried to leave, but as he turned the other had taken off her pants. Turns out she was a ladyboy, her dick was mouth level when my bro turned. Yea, the dick slapped him in the mouth. Shocked, he pushed them off and ran out with his bags. When he got to the hostal he found out they had stolen his wallet. #sorrybro