After bars last night I pulled of the ultimate maneuver. My bros stopped to eat some pizza. As we were
waiting for our pie, a dime piece wandered in, unaccompanied. I told my bros, “watch this,” but they immediately
began ripping on me and doubting my game. However, within 15 seconds of walking up to her, we were
making out viciously. Ended up grabbing the number and then enjoying some hot and tasty pizza. The
only problem? I have no idea what I said to trigger the make-out sesh.
Submission from a "high" bro:
"Last night me n my roommate got so "vaporized" I made a youtube video, how to scarf a scarf 420 I sent it to my bro aka roommate and he didn't say anything I think he got weird'd out - I say f-it It made me laugh.. You be the judge."
So the other weekend I was out with my bros hitting the usual bars. The night was fun, but fairly average and uneventful at the beginning. There are five of us: 4 bros and a fem-bro to drive us around. At closing time we all head back to her car in a parking garage. Before we get in all of the beer we drank hits each of us so we all decide to spread out to take care of business. I wander off and do my thing and then head back to the car. As soon as I sit down I see a cop open the door to our floor and look straight at our car. I look back into the car and realize that my bro was still out there. The cop looked pissed, but immediately spotted the straggler, red-handed as it were. My buddy was completely unaware of the cop standing behind him as he fought his pee-shyness. At this point the cop, with a newly acquired smile, taps my buddy on the shoulder. That tap, however, scared the piss out of him and the cop had to shuffle out of the way. Not a good end to the night for that bro.
So this New Year’s Eve I hit up a party at my bro's to celebrate. My bro shares a room, but his roommate was out of town, so I was all set up to crash in his roommates bed. Despite having to share a room, after a few the bottles of champagne, as well as being champion bros, we both brought a girl back to the room, since there were no other rooms available. After a little bit, I decided, “Fuck it” (literally). Well, my bro failed to call my bluff and left sexiled for the night. Later that night I had to use the bathroom, but first stole all my bros blankets while he slept on the couch. When I put the blankets in my room I had the mind-blowing idea to lock the door so no one could steal my bed, which in turn lock myself out of the room. Then, I took a wrong turn and pissed on his other roommates court citation that was on the floor next to a desk. I don't think I am getting invited to next year's NYE bash.
I was walking to the store Monday morning and I strolled past this homeless dude sitting on the side walk. He was eating some Fritos and drinking a forty. As I walked by, we both simultaneously said "Breakfast of Champions." It was so amazing that on my way back from the store I gave him fifth for lunch.