So I went to this party last week and was pretty hammered. After downing a few 12oz cans, I had to take a piss. I went up to the only bathroom in the place, waited in line and finally got inside. After I finished up I went to leave, but I couldn't figure out how to open the door. Figures. In my drunken stupor, I could have sworn that my buddy was blocking the door, basically being a drunk asshole. So to get out, I just climbed out the window despite being on the second floor. When I went back around to the front, I saw a line building up for the bathroom. Turns out I locked myself in and left the only bathroom locked for the rest of the night. 
 
 
Oxford Comma Bitches.

So, in honor of our great country, I went to this ragin' BBQ and bust out my guitar to play a few jams for America. Definitely the right idea, cause I caught the attention of a smokin' piece. Still, since it was the 4th, she wanted to stay out and make sure that we celebrate America. I put in my time, and as the night wound down, I say "why not come back to my place for a "private concert." You know the rest. And that is why every bro should learn to play the guitar.
 

WTF?!

07/16/2010

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Is Bro Stories now a destination site for complaints and bad drivers? Here is a story just submitted (editor notes in parentheses):

From: champagne_bubble (seriously? champagne bubble?)

"Today at 11:45 a.m., a truck working for BROS Inc (how do we get endorsed) with plates ###-### was driving unsafe over the 121 on the Colony, and scared me to death! I was by an eighteen wheeler. He was behind me at the stop light before the Main Street of the Colony and he passed on the left when he didn't have space to do it. It almost provoke an accident there! It was at 121 and Standridge Street on this light and the 18 wheeler had to stop because he didn't have enough space!! My name is M*****i and I was with my husband."


If anyone knows where this place is, comment below.
 
 
At the club last night, it was a total Asian party. Still, they know how to party. After crushing some Vodka Redbulls, a fight erupted on the dance floor. Two chicks started wrestling until the bouncers came over. The bouncers separated them, but one chick would not let up. She somehow broke away, but the bouncer was ready. Next thing I know she is on the ground spazzing out cause SHE JUST GOT TAZED. That ended the party pretty quick. Still, great night. 
 
 
So this friend of mine comes to a party in our dorm room and gets super blacked out. The usual, right? Wrong. Next thing I know my roommate is yelling at me to come collect my bro. He was passed out on my bed, but then decided he needed to take a dump. Unfortunately, he didn't make it to the bathroom and did it on our chair t. Needless to say, we never used that chair again.
 
 
This weekend is going to be a little reunion. Two of us went to pick up my bro from the airport and had a nice ice waiting for him in the back seat. Later that night, we went to pick up the last of our reunion and had a nice ice waiting for him. He took it down on the curbside check-in. When we got back, I iced the driver after he turned off the car. Little did I know he had one waiting for me when I got inside. 
 
 
Everyone loves the 4th. GO AMERICA! Last night I was kicking it at this party enjoying all the things America represents. As things started to wind down, me and my bro start chatting with these two babes. Eventually, we went back to their place. Things were going well when all of a sudden I hear the other girl shout from the other room: "I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE." Apparently, my bro told her that we wouldn't go get breakfast with them.
 
 
This bro was visiting my roommate the other week and we threw a huge party with a lot of patron. At one point, this dude dropped the box the patron is in, due to some failing motor skills. However, instead of throwing it out, like a true bro, he starts draining the patron into a cup, out of the side of the box. The patron just dripped out the corner into his cup. Then he took it down like a champ. Leave no shot behind.
 
 
So my bros and I are tokin' up. But this one dude cannot handle his shit and starts freaking out. The biddies we are hanging with also think that he is dying, being the super paranoid chicks they are. They start researching a side effects on the internet and calling hotlines. After he demands to be taken to the hospital, my bro and I decide that this dude needs to calm down. He was def ruining the party, so my bro punches him in the face and knocks him out. Next morning, surprise, the dude is okay, just a little knocked up. Fuckin' anti-bro can't handle himself.